Tag Archives: being alone

Saturday: Sometimes Scary Isn’t So Scary After All

16 Aug

Goals that are not written down are just wishes.
Unknown Quotes Author

Everyone has their own little quirks, fears, and that bucket list of things they want to do. I’m afraid of water. Not just afraid, but scared to death. I did face my fears, and actually took to sessions of Terrified of Water at the YMCA over twenty years ago. Still terrified, but at least I tried. 

I have a bucket list of small things and big things I want to do, and I’m trying to check them off. 

Today, I checked off a little one. I’ve never gone to a movie by myself. Most people would think that was a crazy thing to be scared of, but I was. 

To me, going to a movie by myself confirmed the fact that I was alone. Movie going was always a special family activity.  Memories can be overwhelming. WE always went to the movies together. WE went when the kids were little. WE went when the kids were older.  We saw hundreds of movies together. WE went when the kids grew up and were gone. WE aren’t WE anymore. WE are not a family anymore. HE threw that all away for a HO. (More on that next week.)

So today, I went to see  “Ricki and the Flash.” I enjoyed it , and I thought Meryl Streep was great. I sat alone in the middle of the big dark theatre, and I was a little nervous at first. But, I did ok. I was surrounded by couples and friends on their Saturday movie night outing. I was alone, but I was ok. 

It took a long time to stop saying “WE.” Sometimes it still slips out, but “I” catch myself. I will be ok and I’ll go to the movies alone again sometime. After all, I checked it off my bucket list.

I still have a long list for my bucket.