Tag Archives: divorce

Toni’s Repeat Tuesday: MY AOD

21 Aug

“Maturity is recalling the outrageous things your former spouse did to upset you, then turning over and going to sleep.”

– Eileen Dight

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Another year has passed, so this is the 5th anniversary of my divorce, AOD. Over these past five years, I don’t think of them as painful, as much a a huge blessing. I am more than convinced that God was looking out for me and saved me from what could have been a huge disaster, even life threatening. You think you know someone after being with them and loving them for 43 years. But, you don’t. And the sad part is, it can happen to anyone…and it does. I was lucky. I don’t wake up sad everyday, especially not today. I say, “THANK YOU LORD.”

REPEATING MY POST FROM LAST YEAR…

When I looked at my cell phone to see what time it was this morning, I realized it was Aug,20, the 4th anniversary of my divorce, (Today is the 5th Anniversary.) and the 5th anniversary of his moving out,(6 years.) Now, I pretty much did what the quote above said. I remembered how that afternoon he came from the court hearing, handed me the final signed divorce documents in my driveway, like he was handing me the newspaper, got back into his car, then drove away without a word. Anyone that cold and cruel just isn’t human or worthy of any more tears. I remembered that vivid scene this morning, then I turned over and went back to sleep.

I’m looking forward to Thursday, Aug. 23rd, when I celebrate the anniversary of my new home and my new life with a whole bunch of my very dear friends. That will be a fun celebration and post to share. PARTY!!!!! I’ll keep you posted. (My party is this Friday this year-stop over.)

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So, when I was trying to think of what to write about today, I thought that repeating my divorce date today was the most appropriate. This is a good day to count my blessings and thank God, my friends, and my family for my wonderful life,

I looked up acronyms. I didn’t see one for A.O.D, anniversary of divorce. I guess, now there is one.

But, I did find a lot of funny quotes and memes and cartoons. I’m glad I can smile and laugh about it now.

I guess a lot of people have gone through the same thing or there wouldn’t be so many poignant and funny things to share. Here ya go…

Wednesday:) Words of Wisdom ~ Letter to Myself

4 Apr

“If you are brave enough to say goodbye life will reward you with a new hello.

Paulo Coehlo

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I’ve been involved in a divorced and separated support group at my church for several years. People have come and gone, according to their needs and situations, but all who have participated were there for the same thing. All we’re looking to heal and share, either looking for support or giving support. When the group started over three years ago, I was already in a better place than I was in 2013. Back in those days, I was a messy molten mess of pain and uncertainty. I was hoping to help those just starting out in their painful journey.

A couple of weeks ago, our fearless leader, Christy, asked the group to write a letter of goodbye, as a healing exercise. We were supposed to say goodbye to our past and all the things we thought life would be like before divorce. I’m not one to follow directions, and I was feeling beyond that phase in my life. I also felt that saying goodbye was a bit negative, so I decided to say hello instead. Here is my letter.

Dear Me,

Hello my dear friend. Instead of writing a goodbye letter today, I’m writing a hello letter. I have spent the past six years saying good-bye to so many things. I’ve said goodbye to…the man I loved for forty-three years, my home, my financial security, my integral family unit, and my blind faith in a forever and ever fairy tale love. But most of all, I said goodbye to my old naive rose colored glasses mentality. I can see clearly now.

Now, I say hello to my strength, independence, freedom, self-assurance, hope, and endless dreams and possibilities. Now, I also say a huge hello to my un-yielding faith that has gotten me through the painful goodbyes, to be here in this peaceful place called hello.

“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”

― Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Love always,

Me

Monday:) A.O.D. Anniversary Of Divorce

21 Aug

“Maturity is recalling the outrageous things your former spouse did to upset you, then turning over and going to sleep.”

– Eileen Dight

**************

When I looked at my cell phone to see what time it was this morning, I realized it was Aug,20, the 4th anniversary of my divorce, and the 5th anniversary of his moving out. Now, I pretty much did what the quote above said. I remembered how he handed me the final signed divorce documents in my driveway, got back into his car, then drove away without a word. Anyone that cold and cruel just isn’t human or worth any more tears. I remembered that vivid scene this morning, then I turned over and went back to sleep.

I’m looking forward to Thursday, Aug. 23rd, when I celebrate the anniversary of my new home and my new life with a whole bunch of my very dear friends. That will be a fun celebration and post to share. PARTY!!!!! I’ll keep you posted.

So, when I was trying to think of what to write about my divorce date today, I looked up acronyms. I didn’t see one for A.O.D, anniversary of divorce. I guess, now there is one.

But, I did find a lot of funny quotes and memes and cartoons. I’m glad I can smile and laugh about it now.

I guess a lot of people have gone through the same thing or there wouldn’t be so many poignant and funny things to share. Here ya go…

Sunday Sermon and Other Stuff

5 Oct

“There are no coincidences in life. What person that wandered in and out of your life was there for some purpose, even if they caused you harm. Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense the short periods of time we get with people, or the outcomes from their choices. However, if you turn it over to God he promises that you will see the big picture in the hereafter. Nothing is too small to be a mistake.” 

― Shannon L. Alder

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Gospel. Mark 10:2-16…..

But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”In the house the disciples again questioned Jesus about this. He said to them,”Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

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Today’s Gospel was about divorce. Father told us that a marriage isn’t a 50/50 committment, but rather each person giving 100%. Two people become as one, and you cannot separate one. Unfortunately, divorce happens all too often. Faith is a very important factor in keeping a marriage together. Faith in God, family, and love. 

So, as I looked around at all the families, husbands and wives side by side, sometimes holding hands or with an arm around a shoulder, and children seated close and attentive, I could see that having a committment to God, faith, family, and morals does help keep the family unit blessed and together. It’s not a guarantee, but it is a foundation. 

My take on it…

“Marriage is kind of like the stock market. You have to have money to make money.  In a marriage, you have to have faith to be faithful.”

Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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Of course, I’m not saying that it’s a sit in the first pew at church kind of faith, but a faith that says there is a Creator, or a reason that we are here on this planet. We are here to do good and love one another, not bring harm or pain…That kind of faith. Divorce only brings harm and pain.

  
So, on to the other stuff. On a brighter note, it’s a beautiful day here in McKinney. I went to store after church! toll a nice walk/run, and have been sitting around just calling family and friends and being lazy.

  I think I’ll go out for my evening walk and come home, finish the last of my penne pasta marathon with a nice glass of wine, and watch some mindless tv shows.