Tag Archives: ducks

Wednesday:) Why Did The Duck Cross The Road?

11 May

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.

~ Michael Caine

***************

When I went for my evening walk, three ducks were standing in the middle of the street, just standing there in front of my house, no where near the pond. Tourists! Or, maybe they heard about my delicious brownies or Friday night Black Russians. 

All I could think of was, “Why did the ducks cross the road?” Maybe so I’d have something to write about tonight. A few duck jokes, perhaps.

Duck Jokes

Your feathers will be a flying as you roll around the floor Quacking-Up to these Duck Jokes
A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low flying airplane coming right for them. So the man yells: “DUCK!!!!” and the duck yells back at the man with an angry face: “MAN!!!!”

“Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she’s a duck.” 

“You better bring her in to see me straight away.” 

“I can’t do that – she’s already flown south for the winter.”

Q: What time does a duck wake up at? 

A: At the quack of dawn!!

Q: What do ducks get after they eat?

A: A bill!
Q: Who stole the soap?

A: The robber ducky

Q: What do you call a duck with fangs?

A: Count Duckula

Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick?

A: To the Ducktor

Q: What did the detective duck say to his partner?

A: I hope we Quack this case.

Q: Why don’t ducks fly upside down?

A: Because they don’t want to QUACK up.

Q: Why did the duck go to the supermarket?

A: To get some Quackers.

Q: What do you call a box of ducks?

A: A box of Quackers.

Q: Why did the duck tell you a joke?

A: Because he wanted to QUACK you up!

Q: Why did the duck cross the road?

A: Because he was jealous of the chicken.

Q: Why does a duck say quack?

A: Because it can’t say moo.

Q: Where did the duck lose his feathers?

A: Down town.

Q: What does a duck do first when making an omelette?

A: He quacks some eggs.

Q: What do you get when you cross a duck with a firework?

A: A firequacker.

Q: What’s another name for a clever duck?

A: A wise quacker.

Q: What’s a Duckworth?

A: I don’t know, what does a Henweigh?

Q: How do you get down off a horse?

A: You don’t, you get down off a duck.

Q: Why do ducks watch the weather?

A: For the feather forecast.

Q: What says “Quick, Quick”?

A: A duck with the hiccups.
A Duck Walks into…

A duck walks into a pharmacy, and asks for Chapstick. The cashier says, “Cash or check?” and the duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”

A duck goes into a bar and says, ‘I would like a drink. I am old enough.’ 

The bartender replies, ‘You need to be able to prove who you are.’ 

The duck pulls out a mirror. He looks in it, nods his head, and says, ‘Yep, that’s me.’
A duck walks into a bar. He looks like the happiest duck in the world. The bartender asks, “Why are you so happy today?”

The duck replies, “I’ve been playing in puddles all day.” The duck proceeds to order a beer and enjoy it at the bar.

A little while later another duck walks in the bar. He looks like the second happiest duck in the world. The bartender asks, “Why are you so happy today?”

The duck gives the bartender the same answer, “I’ve been playing in puddles all day.” This duck also orders a beer and enjoys it at the bar.

A third duck enters the bar, the total opposite of the first two ducks. He looks like the saddest duck in the world. The bartender asks the duck, “What’s wrong with you?”

The duck replies, “My name is Puddles and I’ve had a terrible day.”

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Has my brother been in here?”

The bartender responds, “What does he look like?”
http://www.superduck.com.au/fun-and-games-duck-jokes.html

 

Wednesday:) Words of Wisdom

13 Apr

“It’s not the size of the pond, but rather who you share it with.”

~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

**************************

My daily walks are always inspirational. I take pictures of little things that amuse me or inspire me. While I walk, I see the world like each day, each lap, is new every time, well, because it is. No two days are the same.

There’s been a lot of rain lately, so some of the usually dry low lying areas have become little puddles and ponds. I laughed when I saw two ducks paddling in a tiny pond and later sitting next to the puddle. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t a lake or a river. They just seemed happy to be together, enjoying the fine day.


Later, they took a stroll across the vibrant green grass, just waddling around. 

It made me think, “It’s not the size of the pond, but rather who you share it with.”

Tuesday:) To Every Season…

20 Apr

Ecclesiastes 3King James Version (KJV)
3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace………..
*************

My daily walks are often the inspiration for blog posts, and today was such a day. It was a “ducky” kinda day. On my way to Zumba, I had to wait a few minutes while a family of ducks meandered across the road right outside my driveway. They’ve been strangely marauding the neighborhood the past few weeks. Usually, they are nestled by the pond two blocks away, but these crazy ducks have been sightseeing. 

  

 
Why did the duck cross the road? …I give up! They could just fly, right? If I could fly, I wouldn’t be walking. 

Now, this brings me to the sad part of the …”To every season…” Yesterday, on my walk, I saw the dozen or so duck eggs neatly clustered under a tree, waiting to be hatched.

  
So safe and secure. I couldn’t wait to see the new fuzzy babies waddling around in the pond. 

  
This morning, most of the eggs were sprawled on the grass, several feet from their safe haven. A predator? I prayed it wasn’t some mean children. I felt so sad. Then, I wondered if the duck parents saw this. Do ducks mourn, feel loss, get upset? How could they not. New life without a chance to begin.

When I looked closer, I noticed one egg on the grass that hadn’t been harmed. I had a plastic bag in my pocket, so I used it to place the egg back under the tree with the remaining two or three that were not taken. 

  
I hope these eggs have a chance to come into the world. Just when I was the most sad, I saw a momma duck under a different tree. She was either laying eggs or sitting on her brood, but it made me realize that life goes on. There are losses, and there are renewals. “To everything there is a season.” As in nature, as in life.

  
Can you see the mamma all huddled and protective under the tree? Let’s hope these eggs have a chance. New life, new beginnings.

  

Friday:) Friends of a Feather, New and Old

20 Feb

“There’s always a good lesson in meeting new people, its enlarging your circle of friends. And though there are times you don’t match with their likes, there are some whom you just blend well.” ― Solita

************* 

My morning started out with kickboxing class. Yikes, it kicked my butt, again. My arms were still sore from assembling those four shelves and moving heavy bins. But, I punched, and kicked, and shuffled, and jabbed for a solid hour, watching the clock, determined to finish without calling 911. Accomplished!

Another beautiful sunny day. I walked around the pond a few times with Bella, my neighbor, Mike’s dog. He was at the office, so sometimes I just pop over and pick her up. Bella, is not too friendly to strangers, but she loves me.

  
 Later, decided to sit in the sun. It was another tank top kinda day. It’s February…how amazing.?..don’t be jealous.
  
It started to get cloudy in the early evening, so I grabbed a sweater for my evening walk. Guess what? The clouds sauntered off and the sun burst through again, had to remove the sweater. On my walk, the kids a few blocks down, were playing basketball. An older gentleman in a lawn chair, sitting with his dog, just watching the kids play, gave me a big wave and hello. So, of course, I walked over to chat and introduce myself.

  
This is Gary and Maggie. Very friendly dog. Gary says that she runs to the window every day at 3:30, and asks to go out to greet the kids getting off the school bus. I made a couple of new friends today.

  
Miss Claudia lives on the corner. We chatted quite a while about her great-grandchildren, her husband, Willie, and the weather, of course. (Do you notice the theme? I don’t get much walking done.)

  
Michael and Derek, over at the sales office always have a wave and a hug for me. We talked a little while.

  
These are friends in my neighborhood, new friends and old friends. And, last but not least, the friendly feathered friends down by the pond. We don’t chat much, but they’re always quacking about something. I just don’t understand  duck talk. 

  

Theme Song Thursday

21 Aug

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face.

Manoj Arora, From the Rat Race to Financial Freedom

***************

Just to take the edge off, a little humor and some cute pictures of the ducks in the pond by my house. 

The sad part is, there were 12 little ducklings at first. By the end ofthe summer,  there  might not be that many. Only 6 or 7 now. It’s a tough life being a duck. But, they are family and stick together. The Mamma watches them very closely.  

 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG6GXdUOR_Y&sns=em