Tag Archives: humor

Theme Song Thursday:) Being Replaced by a Younger Model

26 Feb

“There will be times in your life when things simply have to be replaced because they are tired, broken, worn out, harmful, outdated, or irrelevant. Take an inventory of the things that no longer serve your best and highest good so you can replace them with things which do.”
― Susan C. Young

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I just want to let you know that I’ve been doing my part to conserve energy after last week’s tragic Texas snowstorm. They asked people to limit their electrical usage, so I kept the lights off as much as possible, I didn’t watch tv, and I didn’t do any laundry or housework.

Well, it’s been most a week. I wanted to be extra careful, so I held off on any housework that called for electrical usage. I’m considerate that way.

Last year, I broke down and replaced my old friend, Henrietta Hoover, with a newer younger model that I named Sharona. She is a Shark vacuum.

My Sharona is younger, sleeker, lighter and looks pretty cute, but I’ll be honest, she really isn’t as powerful and faithful and dependable as my old Henrietta was. (Sound familiar?)

My Sharona sat in the middle of the bedroom for several days before I thought it was civically safe to plug her in and do some housework. I was wondering how long I could use the old ”conserving energy” excuse. So today, Sharona and I waltzed around the entire house, cleaning and dancing, as I sang “My Sharona” quietly in my head.

Just sayin’….

Wednesday:) When Enough Is Enough!

25 Feb

“Crime isn’t that complicated. People steal because taking something gives them something. If they’re not in it for the money, they’re in it for control. The act of taking, of breaking the rules, makes them feel powerful. They’re in it for the sheer defiance. Some people steal to stay alive, and some steal to feel alive.”
― V.E. Schwab, A Darker Shade of Magic

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I’m sure you all have gotten many of those emails, texts, and phone calls with someone trying to steal your information and your money. Ha…I still remember the time a bunch of my friends got an email, supposedly from me, saying that I was stranded in the Philippines and lost my wallet and my money and my ID, and I desperately needed them to wire me some money. Well, all my friends just laughed because they said, “Toni doesn’t ever leave McKinney much less wander off to the Philippines.”

I think everyone has gotten the one from the wealthy prince in Africa that wanted to give you a million dollars, so just send him your bank routing number. I’ve even gotten calls that said that I just won a brand new car, and before they could continue, I would say, “That’s SO very nice, but I already have a nice car. Please give my new car to a poor person who could really use it.” CLICK… But, my favorite is when they keep trying the hard sell and badgering me on the phone. I hate to hang up on people. It’s just rude, so I politely say, “I’ve got all day, I’m not busy, I’m not going to buy anything from you, but I’d be happy to talk to you for a couple of hours. I’m kinda bored anyway.” CLICK…

NOW, I finally stopped being patient with all these email scams. You know, the ones that look SO REAL, with all the right logos and phone numbers to call saying your Amazon package is delayed because we lost your information, or your bank account has been compromised. YIKES! I hate that. So, I always copy the email and forward it to that particular bank or business to their phishing department. But, first I reply to the email and tell that person just what I think…

And, I genuinely say a prayer for that person.

My new philosophy is to report these scammers so they don’t hurt and steal from someone less savvy, like old people. (Wait…I’m old people.) Then, I always reply with my disdain for their actions but my hope and prayers for their eternal soul. 🙏 Amen… give it a try. Reporting injustice might help someone else from getting hurt, and all those prayers might help save a soul. You never know.

Saturday:) Snow Melting, Some More Tasty Snacks, and a Sunset

21 Feb

“Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows.”
― Helen Keller

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What a difference a day makes! Today, the sun was out, the birds were chirping jubilantly, and the snow only lingers in a few shadowed recesses. Yay! Many friends and neighbors are recovering from catastrophic winter storm damage. I feel very blessed to have survived unscathed. (You notice I’m using my prosaic two dollar words. That’s how fortunate I feel today.)

This afternoon, I counteracted my decadent bacon tostadas from yesterday with a healthier vegetarian tostada. Can I consider myself a quasi-semi-intermittent vegetarian? Nah, I didn’t think so. Sure was tasty, and one was just enough. Left overs tomorrow.

I hadn’t been out for a long walk in a week or so. My old right knee has been bothering me for quite some time. Old war injury… just kidding. Do all night “Star Wars” tv marathons count? But today, the sunshine and warmer weather tempted me to get out, at least to catch the sunset. I managed to get in 5,635 steps, 2.5 miles. I did stop at a bench a couple of times to massage that old knee.

Each lap around the pond was glorious. There’s still some ice closer to the shore.
Most of the grass has shed its snowy veil, and the robins are basking in the evening glow. I think they’re pretty happy the frigid temps are gone, too.
Another spectacular Saturday.

Saturday:) Some Scary Winter Storms Headin’ Our Way

14 Feb


“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”
― Carl Reiner

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Well, the ugly face of winter has touched the tenuously prepared state of Texas. Living up North for over fifty years, a few days of bitter cold and snow certainly doesn’t scare me. But here in Texas, everyone is preparing for Armageddon. Thursday, there was a huge traffic disaster near Fort Worth with over a hundred cars piled up on the slippery icy roads, many injuries, and six fatalities. So sad. It wasn’t even snowing yet.

Today, the sun was out and the temperature was in the 20’s. Not bad, so I decided to run over to Kroger and get some essentials like fresh spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, and caramel praline ice cream. I already have plenty of wine at home. The snow arrives tomorrow. Well, everyone and their uncle was at the store, stocking up on gallons of milk, loaves of bread, cart loads of can goods, and wine. (They aren’t prepared like me.)

Many of the shelves looked like this. Holy cow! The forecast calls for cold weather for about a week. Everything will shut down and panic will prevail. We’ll be back up into the 50’s by next Sunday. One week of cold! In Chicago, we always prepared for at least five months of bitter cold, four months if we were really lucky, not five days. Yikes!

Yep!
Exactly!

Stay safe and stay warm, wherever you are! ❤️

Friday:) Finally, Out of the Closet~ Or Into the Deep Freeze

13 Feb

“For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned.”~ Benjamin Franklin

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It’s freezing here in North Texas, literally freezing. Today was a good day to stay under the covers until noon and get some long awaited projects done.

I’m a confessed card carrying member of HAHA… Horders Anonymous, we say it twice because we are overachievers. So, on this chilly afternoon, I decided to go through the bins of Christmas stuff that I had overflowing in my closet. This is just the overflow from the bins that are stored in the garage. But, it was all unorganized and I had no idea what was in there and why it took up so much space.

Wow! I have a lot of stuff. Really important stuff…not! But now it’s all organized and ready for next Christmas.

Voila! “For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

The rest of the day was lovely, just knowing that I accomplished a little something. Now, I’m going to relax with my Black Russian, watching Casa Blanca, and trying to stay warm.

“Here’s looking at you, kid.”

Quarantined Karaoke Thursday:) “My Funny Valentine”

12 Feb

“I have a karaoke punk band called The Ungrateful Dead, but we don’t exist yet.” ~ Eric Andre

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Another Quarantined Karaoke Thursday here in frigid McKinney Texas. You would think I was back home in Chicago. Crazy, and it’s only going to get colder. I just asked my Google girlfriend what the temp was and she said, “The current temperature in McKinney is 25, but with the current wind conditions, it feels like it’s 13. YIKES! I said yikes, she didn’t. A good day to stay home cozy and quarantined and singing off key karaoke.

https://youtu.be/B-hOyCege94

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I so want to sing that song one day… but alas, “I Will Survive” even if I never get the nerve up to sing it.

Quarantined Karaoke Thursday:) “Hello”

5 Feb

“Let us go singing as far as we go: the road will be less tedious.” ~Virgil

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Another Quarantined Karaoke Thursday. Never in a zillion years did I think this scary pandemic would last so long. And we’ve only just begun. ( That’s another song for another Quarantined time, which I think we have plenty of.”

https://youtu.be/3IrmRgcaplc

Amen.

Stay healthy and happy and safe, my friends.

Friday:) Fun Shapes in the Clouds

30 Jan

“I always see weird shapes, animals, people and designs in the clouds. Does that mean I’m a little whacko, or just a little creative? All in the perspective, I guess.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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I went for a very short slow evening walk tonight. My right knee has been acting up, but my neighbor asked if I could take his dog out For a walk if I was out walking tonight. He was going to be out for a while. I hadn’t walked in a couple of days, but I knew I could limp along for a little bit so my little canine friend wouldn’t have to hold it all night, and maybe a little movement would help my knee.

Bella was happy to see me and she pranced along while I limped along. I always appreciate the sunsets, but tonight, there was a weird formation in the sky.

From a distance, you don’t notice the formation, but I found it intriguing.
On closer examination, I saw Noah, parading the animals out from the ark, parked way at the back end. In the front there are two little birds, with a dragon turning back to talk to the birds. Mickey and Minnie Mouse are standing on the back of the other dragon, and Noah is leading the rest of the crew. He’s wearing a turban (do you see him?), followed by a couple of bears, then two alligators, (or are they crocodiles?) two giant turtles, (one behind the other) and a couple of elephants bringing up the rear.

I know, I know, you don’t think that dragons or Mickey and Minnie Mouse were around during the time of the great flood and Noah’s Ark. But guess what! These are my clouds and my vision. And I haven’t even started on my Black Russians yet…🤦‍♀️ What do you see?

Happy Friday, my friends.

Saturday:) Serious Procrastinators Unite! But, Maybe Tomorrow.

17 Jan

“Procrastination always gives you something to look forward to.”

― Joan Konner

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Well, I finally put away my Christmas tree and decorations. Being a procrastinator, I used the excuse that I needed to wait till after January 6th, Feast of Epiphany, when the Three Wise Men (Wise Guys) brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. Then, I used the excuse that I love the lights and decorations, so I’d wait till after my birthday. That came and went.

I just hate to put away the happiness of Christmas.

Then, the last few days have been cold and really windy, and as I store the bins and bags in the garage, it was too cold to drag them out.

Today, there was no excuse. I’d procrastinated long enough. It was a beautiful sunny day.

Now, I’m feeling sad. The lights and the glitz and the Christmas cheer will be tucked away until next year.

Doesn’t it look sad and lonely?

I Even put away a few of my beautiful birthday gifts. The flowers remain to cheer me, and the wine will soon be consumed. No sense putting everything away. Maybe tomorrow?

Even though the beautiful reminders of Christmas and birthdays are gone, the warmth will remain in my heart until next time.

Friday:) Fixin’ This and That, and Mixin’ It Up With Elvis on the Shelvis

5 Dec

“ Elvis on the Shelvis is back for a repeat holiday performance this year. I’m all shook up.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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Friday already? I went for a flu shot this afternoon. I’ve only gotten one flu shot in my life about five or six years ago. I figured this year is not a good year to take my chances.

When I drove over to the Baylor pharmacy just a mile away, I noticed my low tire symbol on my car was still glowing red at me. It started the other day when it got cold. Silly me, I thought it would go away. No such luck.

So, I came home, got out the old handy Black and Decker air pump thingamajigy and the long extension cord. I even knew to check the inside of my car door for the recommended air pressure number. PSI in fancy dancy automotive lingo. I used the gauge to check the pressure. Man, each tire was pretty low, only in the 20’s. One tire didn’t even have the valve cap thingy. I remember buying some back ups a few years ago. I found it hidden at the bottom of the messy middle console storage. I had to take a bunch of stuff out to find it. Needless to say, I cleaned that up and organized it and threw out a lot of stuff. Why I have eight pairs of sunglasses, I don’t know. I did find a $20 bill. Woo hoo!

I plugged in the air pressure machine and proceeded to fill the tires. The old machine is pretty slow and makes a big racket. Then, my elderly neighbor Elke walked over and asked in her thick German accent, “You know how to do dat yourself?” She was impressed. I was detained by a long one sided neighborly conversation. About an hour to fill four tires. (Mostly distractions)

Later, I was looking for an electric power strip for my outdoor Christmas lights,p. When I looked in a mysterious buried bin, I found Joe’s old Elvis telephone. Last year I was in Chicago for Christmas and I used Joe’s holiday Elvis doll for the Shelvis at his house, but I didn’t think I had one here in Texas. It was Joe’s from a long time ago. I hope he doesn’t want it back. Yay! Now, I can keep up the tradition of Elvis on the Shelvis here at my house.

Since it’s Friday, Elvis is on the bar Shelvis .

Happy Black Russian Friday, my friends. Happy Black Russian Friday Elvis.