Tag Archives: humor

Wednesday:) Where In The World Was Miss Toni? 

25 Oct

” Every time I travel, it’s an unbelievable adventure. That’s because I have no idea where the heck I am half the time. Unbelievable!” 

~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis


“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” 

― C. JoyBell C.


Yesterday, I told you about talking to a stranger at McDonald’s on my way home from Stillwater. And as promised, here’s my story about getting lost after that.

I really was proud of myself. I left Stillwater around 9:45 am, turned left at the second busy street, stopped for gas at the station just down the road from St. Francis Catholic Church on the right. (I need visual landmarks) I remembered that the I35 exit was the second one, as I needed to go south to Texas, not north to Canada, or what ever’s up there. I say that in my head…Texas south, Canada north. Traffic was fast and steady, and I tried to stay behind slower trucks in the right lane, but even they were going 75 or 80 mph. Yikes! I maneuvered through the change in lanes by Oklahoma City, staying in my left and not going to Tulsa. Good girl!

Feeling a bit confident, I decided to take a lunch break at McDonald’s in Marietta. (That’s where I met Tracy, the truck driver from yesterday’s blog,) I think because I took a long break, my time sequence in my head was a little off. Normally, I drive the 4 1/2 hours straight without stopping. So, when I tapped in my map and directions for home on my phone, Siri talked me through the u-turn and getting back onto I35. No problemo.

Zipping along, Siri told me to exit going towards Gainesville. Hmm? I didn’t remember that, but I knew there was a Denton bypass along the way, that had to be it. Right? Siri wouldn’t lie to me, would she? I exited and went down an industrial road that looked like the bypass. Good. About twenty minutes later, I was deep into farm, ranch and agricultural two lane roads. Uh oh! This didn’t look right. I kept driving and Siri kept leading me deeper into nowhere land. I was going to pull over, but there were only gated gravel farm or ranch gates that were closed. I was too nervous about pulling over and getting sideswiped by some sidewinder. (I was in Texas, after all.) 

The good news was, my car compass said I was going south and east. I did know I lived south and east of Oklahoma. The other nice thing was, wow, there was some awfully pretty country roads back there. I crossed a lot of rivers and saw long horns, sheep, goats, fields of cotton, horses, some humongous ranch mansions, and quaint old farm houses and barns. But… lost is lost, and I was lost. I finally pulled over by a rural church to reprogram Siri,  and give her a stern talking too. She didn’t cooperate. Maybe she got mad at me.

My journey continued along long winding FM roads. I navigated over Lake Kiowa, down to Tioga and Pilot Point, and around Aubrey, Siri had me go east towards Celina. On the map, those small roads look pretty straight forward, but I almost got as dizzy as when I went on that crazy ride at the state fair. See the big red line on the left…35? That’s where I was supposed to be until Denton. Now, see all those squiggly grey lines by Gainesville and the blue water. That’s where I zigged and zagged my way through north Texas.

Look folks! Cotton fields, as far as the eye could see. It looked like a blanket of snow along the roads.

Mostly what I saw was a lot of long winding roads going no where with no end in sight. But, I was going south and east. That was good..I think. Finally, Siri said turn on Preston Road. Yay! A familiar name. She led me into the back way past Meyers Park and down to Wilmeth. I never come from that direction, so when I saw the familiar cell tower…Ah, I was home. I could release the death grip from the steering wheel.

Being directionally challenged is not fun. Siri, I will never trust you again! I still have to call on you for help all the time, but I will never trust you again. 

My adventure was maybe only one and a half hours longer than it should have been, but I was rewarded with some lovely back road scenery and a gorgeous sunset.

Saturday:) Sometimes You Have to Follow Your Heart

21 Oct

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” 

― Jalaluddin Rumi


 I have to use my navigation app pretty much anytime I go anywhere more than five miles from home. Did I mention I’m directionally impaired? Yep. So, when Siri guided me through traffic on 380, coerced me through the Denton bypass, and onto I35 north, I relaxed when she said, “Continue on I35 for 212 miles. 

As I got comfortable behind the wheel, turned Siri off, cranked up my CD of Joe’s wedding songs, and cruised along in the slower right lane, I got behind a truck going around 70 mikes an hour (slow for Oklahoma). When I got closer, I smiled and said, “Ah, now I can follow my heart.”

I cruised north following a Hobby Lobby truck. It made me smile, but also reminded me that when I get back home that I need to work on painting my Christmas ornaments. My craft room upstairs would rival a Hobby Lobby warehouse. Thanks Hobby Lobby truck driver for leading the way.

Wednesday:) What Would I Do If I Knew How to Sew?

19 Oct

Forgiveness is the needle that knows how to mend.

~ Jewel

I never learned how to sew, thread a needle, or mend. Forgiveness isn’t always in my sewing basket either.
~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis


I always envied people who knew how to sew. My mother was and still is an excellent seamstress and creative sewer. Both my older sisters could look at a dress or blouse or anything made of fabric, and just whip it up on an old Singer sewing machine in no time. Personally, I can spend 45 minutes trying to figure out, with manual in hand, how to thread the needle. And don’t even get me started with the bobbin thingy down below that secret trap door metal plate. What’s that all about?

Anyway, I saw this cool picture of a fabric flower made with old denim. If you know how to  sew, I bet you can make this. Give it a try. And if you do, can you send me one please? 

I probably could get as far as cut and tear, but they lost me at sew along fold and stitch.

I wonder if I could use a glue gun? 

Thank you to betweenthelines.blogspot.com for the inspiration.

Saturday:) Sometimes You Wake Up Like…

15 Oct

Every day, I like to wake up and remind myself to be grateful of the simple things.

~ Miranda Kerr


Every morning, I wake up with a smile on my face, just happy to be alive. My blessings are many. My mind and spirit are very young at heart. 

This is how I feel when I wake up every morning… Life is a beautiful fairy tale.

Then, this is how I actually feel when my feet hit the floor… Reality sets in and the old bones and aches and pains speak out. A young spirit imprisoned in an old body. 

Old age isn’t fun, but it beats the alternative. 

Enjoy each day while you can. 

Friday:) Fitness and Futility…Go Hand-In-Hand

30 Sep

Change is the only constant, and to turn one’s back and pretend that it is not coming is an exercise in futility. 

~Anthony Carmona


I got up bright and early this morning. Well, it wasn’t that bright. It was a dark drizzly morning. And, it wasn’t so early. I set my alarm for 8 am. That doesn’t sound that early, but when you go to bed at 3 am, that’s kinda early. My neighbor Diane picked me up and we went over to the YMCA. She took the yoga class and I rode the stationary bike and did some machines. I went around 7 miles at about a 5 minute to a mile pace. The machine said I burned about 314 calories. Heck, that’s about two Oreo cookies, right?

I worked on the machines for upper body and arms. I have no arm strength to speak of, and the lowest setting was about my max, and I still grunted and puffed air out like I was pressing 100 pounds instead of 20. 

When I got home, I did not pass go. I drank a tall glass of water, grabbed my umbrella for “just in case”, and walked my usual long neighborhood route.

Ah, I was feeling fine and fit. But, The entire purpose was because I was going out to lunch. 314 calories was a drop in the proverbial bucket. Jason’s Deli has that little ice cream dispenser that you can just help yourself. Oh no! 

Futility reigns again. So, back on with the gym shoes and another walk around the neighborhood. Wouldn’t you know it, Mr. Larry’s garage was open and I was forced against my will to sit with him and Miss Sandy and drink a beer. 

This is my fitness routine. Exercise, walk, lunch, ice cream, walk, beer, and then to make matters worse, today is Friday. BLACK RUSSIAN FRIDAY!!! A lesson in futility.

Friday:) Cleaning Frenzy…This Too Shall Pass

22 Sep

“From time to time, one must release the grime built up inside them to to free their emotions like the ocean.” ― Suzy Kassem


As soon as I woke up this morning, I called my mother, got dressed, put on my gym shoes, and prepared for my morning walk. But, today was the day I decided I needed to do some housework. I keep putting it off. Before I walked out the door, I took the vacuum out of the closet and set it in the middle of the hall. This way I’d have to bump into it every time I walked into the kitchen or bedroom. Smart…right? I did that one time, and I walked around it an entire week before I shoved it back into the closet, unused. Today would be different.

It was a warm sunny morning, but a few puffy clouds spanned the sky, a slight breeze made the brisk walk tolerable. 

After my long steamy walk, I took a few minutes to sit under the ceiling fan, drank some ice water, and stirred up the energy to start cleaning. 

My problem is, once I get started cleaning, I get possessed. I guess that’s a good thing. But,  ow I’m exhausted. I started out vacuuming all the downstairs carpets and tile floors. Well, I noticed a few drips and spills on the kitchen tiles, so I got an old towel and mopped the floors with my shoes, making it an aerobic adventure at the same time. I can get under the cabinets better that way.

Then I cleaned two bathrooms and scrubbed the toilets, and ran upstairs and cleaned the guest room bath, too. Then I ran down and started cleaning the master bath. Oh my, those baseboards are dusty and dirty. I’ll have to brush them off and wash them. How do they get so dirty?

After the bathrooms were done, I tackled the kitchen, filled the dish washer, and cleaned off the counters.

I was going to go for an evening walk, but I’m just too pooped. I’m going to dinner with my neighbor Kathy, and don’t forget…It’s Black Russian Friday. Time to quit and enjoy the rest of the evening. My work here is done.

Hopefully this cleaning frenzy thing will not come back for a while. I wonder if they have a pill or shot for that?

Tuesday:) Toni’s Tasty Tip of the Day

13 Sep

“If God had intended us to follow recipes, He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.” ― Linda Henley


I’m not the world’s greatest baker or cook, but perhaps one of the most prolific. I just love to create things in the kitchen, and mass quantities of the stuff. I may start out with a basic box or mix or recipe, but then I mess around with it until I’ve created a masterpiece. Must be the artist in me. The kitchen is my second art studio.

Today, I’m going to share the secret to my triple lemony mini cupcakes. (Don’t tell anyone…it’s a secret.) But, I did have over a dozen people tell me how delicious they were and asked for the recipe. Recipe? “We don’t need no stinkin’ recipe!”

I start out with two boxes of lemon cake mix and a can of lemon frosting.(Doctored up later) What kind you ask? A special kind. It has to be on sale. Never pay full price for cake or brownie mixes! The same goes for frosting mix, on the rare occasion I use canned. The way I go through them, it would cost me a fortune.

I make the mix as per directions using my harvest gold Hamilton Beach hand mixer my mother bought me in 1975 for a wedding gift. The mixer still works great, never disappoints, and has been my constant companion. Can’t say the same for the husband. (A little divorce humor,) 

Oh, I forgot! The first thing I do is make a funny face with the mix. This one is an artist, in honor of my friend, Annie Royer. I was making some cupcakes for her Gallery reception at the Martin Place last Saturday. Also, I wanted to take some to my fire stations for 9/11.

When you do as much baking as I do, it’s wise to invest in some humongous cupcake pans. I have several. This one holds 4 dozen minis. I have three. 

I line the pans with the mini paper cup liners, then scoop about a tablespoon of lemon cake batter. Then, I place a slice of marshmallow, as you see in the first photo. I ran out of minis, so I took a large marshmallow and cut in thirds with scissors, actually works better because they are perfectly round and sit on top nicely. Push it down a little because they puff up when baking. I place a tiny, maybe 1/2 teaspoon of lemon pudding on top of that. (I bought pre-made pudding because the dry mix was $1.29 a box and I’d have to buy milk too. This 4 pack was on sale for 99 cents. Yay!) 

Because these are minis, you have to watch them carefully, they bake fast. How long? Before they burn! Been there…done that. While the first batch cools, I toss in another couple of pans. Two boxes of mix makes well over 140 cupcakes. Really!

I’m not a huge fan of canned frosting, but I had bought some….because….they were on sale! But, I did make some homemade cream cheese frosting to add to the canned. I added a little lemon juice instead of milk to the butter, cream cheese and powdered sugar, (no vanilla) then combined both. I frosted a swirl on top of each with the pastry bag my sister JoAnn bought me as a gift from the Dollar Store. (She knows me well.) Yummy!

Well, that’s the secret recipe. The biggest part of the recipe is sharing with as many people as possible. I had enough for Miss Annie’s reception, two fire stations, a few neighbors, and of course, several that I needed to sample for “quality control.”