Tag Archives: humor

Friday:) Faces, Faces, Everywhere Faces In The Weirdest Places

23 Sep

“Is it just me, or does everyone see faces in the weirdest places?”

-ME

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This morning, I was preparing to make my green tea with lemon and honey and some fresh ginger. When I’m at the store, I stand there and look at the lumpy bumpy pieces of ginger to see what interesting shapes they make. Sometimes I see horses or dogs or rabbits. I only buy interesting shapes ginger. That’s what artistic people do.

The piece of ginger I used this morning looked rather interesting.

Upon closer inspection, this nubby root looked like an old man with a big belly. See the mouth and pointy chin and two buttons down his belly? The little gift of hair on top was interesting, but I decided he needed a hat or beret. Ha! In honor of Fall, an acorn beret would do just nicely.
Of course, Miss Toni has acorns lying around in a bowl. Doesn’t everyone? I took the cap off and placed it on my old snarly ginger man. He looks like he’s singing, doesn’t he? With the acorn beret, he must be an old French jazz singer.

Any suggestions for a name for my Ginger Man? Let me know.

Happy Friday, my friends.

Wednesday:) What’s Cookin’ Miss Toni?

7 Sep

“Nothin’ says lovin’ like somethin’ from the oven.”

~The Pillsbury Dough Boy

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Some more Better than Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies.

I cut my cold rolled dough into thin slices and placed on parchment paper. I was down to my last roll from the freezer. 🤦‍♀️
I placed exactly 5 round Carmel bits (You can add more. I do a lot of baking.) around and a slice of Three Musketeers candy in the center of each slice. (This made 21 cookies.)
They were pretty thin, so I had to be careful not to over bake or they’d burn. Every bite was delicious. I don’t look at time, I just check every few minutes. Let them cool before you remove with a spatula. They pretty delicate when warm. 🤦‍♀️
Tada!!!! The secret is to only save two or three for yourself and give the rest away. Trust me! 🤦‍♀️ 🍪

Here’s my recipe…. Better than Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 c. butter
2 c. sugar
2 c. brown sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
4 c. flour
5 c. oatmeal (grind 3 c. Leave 2)
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. baking powder
24 oz. chocolate chips
18 oz. chopped Snickers or Hershey or favorite candy. (Optional)
(Optional- chopped nuts)

Makes a lot of cookies. I make rolls and freeze some. Makes about 10 rolls.

Mix softened butter, sugars, eggs, and vanilla in really big bowl. Blend in dry ingredients. I like to make the day before and refrigerate rolls. Slice. Bake at 350° just before they get brown. They’ll keep cooking after removed. It’s all guesswork. Better to undercook than burn, I always say.

Happy baking.

Montage Monday:) A Week in a Peek

5 Sep

“I hope you’re having a great Labor Day and not laboring too much.”

Toni

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A week in a peek filled with sharing, caring, old friends, new friends, and endless blessings…

Did you say Happy Labrador Weekend?

Saturday:) Showing Off Some Super Savings

27 Aug

“As the price of groceries has skyrocketed, it’s so exciting to find some bargains.”

~Me

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OK, I was so excited about my last shopping spree at Tom Thumb that I had to share. The sale started on Wednesday, but Helene and I usually stop after church and coffee on Sunday. But, quite often, the sale items are all gone and they don’t give rain checks. Helene’s car was in the shop Thursday and Friday, so I said I’d run over and see if I could pick up some 99cent sale items for her and me to donate to Holy Family School. We try and stop over about once a month with snacks, drinks, baby products, etc. for their little preschoolers and babies. (They’re so cute!)

Look at that sale!
Look at my grocery cart! 🤦‍♀️
Look at the trunk of my car!
🤦‍♀️ 13 bags of groceries! Guess how much I spent? I did buy a few things that weren’t 99cents, like vegetables, eggs, mayo, BUT, they were on sale. Miss Toni rarely buys anything that’s not on sale. I’m not fussy. Peaches are on sale, I eat peaches. They ain’t on sale, I ain’t eating peaches.

OK, did you guess? 13 bags of groceries, 71 items?

Look at that receipt! 🤦‍♀️
* $68.46 * Wow! I also had a special coupon from when I had my booster at the pharmacy there. It was for 20% one shopping visit, so that saved me $17.12. Then, my Tom Thumb card saved me $68.39 and my digital deals saved me $8.29 for a total savings of $93.80. OMG I saved more than I spent.

Granted, the majority of items will be donated to Holy Family School, and a lot of the produce and snacks I used for our dinner at Towne Creek art group yesterday, but still. Look at all the money I saved!!!!

I am…… yes….. you know the drill…. “I am AMAZING!”

Tuesday:) Toni’s Trip to Love Field

17 Aug

“I would love to travel if it wasn’t for all the preparations, packing, traffic, airports, security, waiting, crowds, delays, etc. Besides that, travel would be fun.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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There is nothing about Love Field that I love. They should call it Hate Field.Well, it’s not really that bad, but it ain’t great. That’s what I like about Star Trek. I would just love to say, “Beam me up, Scottie.” That’s the way to travel.

My friend Helene was coming back from her two week visit with family in Maine. I drove her to the airport, but she had her GPS cranking away and guiding me with tricky turns and ramps. I am a self-proclaimed directionally impaired driver. I’m pretty good within a 5 mile radius, but if I haven’t been there 27 times before, I still use GPS in those 5 miles. Oh, if it’s dark, even worse. I could pass up my own street. I’ve done that. 🤦‍♀️

A couple of different times before, my GPS guided me to some weird low rent scary district behind the airport, and said “You have arrived.” So today, I asked Sid if he wouldn’t mind driving to the airport. Saved! It worked out great because he got there in less than 40 minutes, and while he parked by the curb, I ran inside and waited for Helene and helped her with two big heavy bags.

Welcome home!

On the way home, we stopped at Rosa’s Cafe and Tortilla Factory for lunch. It was Taco Tuesday! Gotta have tacos.

Thanks for an awesome lunch, Sid.

The tortillas are freshly made while you order. And… they give you extra tortillas on the side, so warm and delicious. Oh no! It’s right down the street from Helene’s new apartment. I have a feeling this will be our new Taco Tuesday. 🤦‍♀️

On my way home, I stopped at Sprouts to stock up on more nuts and such for my trail mix that I make and always keep handy on the counter.

“Sometimes you feel like a nut…”
Mmm! Dark chocolate covered almonds on sale. $4.99 a pound. Can’t beat that. Now, to add to my mixture.

A wonderful day called for a long afternoon nap. After that big lunch and eating like a polar bear getting ready for a long winter’s hibernation, a nap was perfect. It’s nice being old, retired, single, nothin’ I have to do. I can nap any time I want. Life is good! 🤗

Montage Monday:) A Week In A Peek

16 Aug

“If it gets any hotter here in Texas, everyone will be barbecuing outside, without a barbecue grill. Just flip those steaks on the wrought iron patio table.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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Well, it’s been hotter than H-E- double hockey sticks here again this week, with no end in sight. Today, I was driving home from the dentist and my car temperature said 103°. We did have three drops of rain last Wednesday, but that was like spitting in the Grand Canyon. It’s been crazy. 🤦‍♀️

That being said, got my complaining out of the way, I’ve had a great week filled with blessings and great friends.

A week in a blessed Peek…

I hope y’all have a great week. (Notice the y’all? I’m from Chicago. I just write y’all to be funny. Youse guys probaly seen that comin’.) 🤦‍♀️

Thursday:) That Thrifty Gal

11 Aug

“Never idle a moment, but thrifty and thoughtful of others.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Well, you know how I’m always telling you about the great sales at the grocery stores? My grocery lists usually are comprised of what’s on sale that week. I’m just cooking for myself, so I eat what I like… if it’s on sale that week, of course. Hey, Tom Thumb has bananas 29c a pound. 👍🏼 Now, baking, that’s another story. I bake mostly for friends and neighbors and cute firemen. But, I do manage to stock up on brownie and cake mixes when they are on sale.

On this Thrifty Thursday, I wanted to share with you the cute bargains I got at Plaza Thrift over on the east-side. I usually check out the thrift stores in search of unusual glass bowls to paint for Empty Bowls. Sometimes I find cool art supplies or kitchen gadgets. Once in a while I scour through the ladies clothes and find something cute. This week was a winner for tops. No luck with a glass bowl.

The orange top just might be inspiration for my next watercolor painting project. It also has little sparkles and some beads.
A couple of dressier ones for church.
Then a couple of casual tops suitable for thrift store shopping or a fancy dinner at McDonald’s.

These adorable tops, six in all cost…. can you guess? I’ll give you a second. Imagine the Jeopardy theme song playing in your head while you guess… do do do.. do do do do do… OK, suspense over. $15.46. Not for one, but for all six, with tax. Crazy, right?

I forgot which one, but one was marked down to 79 cents. I am very proud of being thrifty, but please, if you see me at church or at Kroger, don’t shout across the room, “Hey Toni! Is that the 79 cent blouse?” I don’t want other people to get jealous. 🤦‍♀️

Happy Thrifty Thursday. Please feel free to share any of your awesome bargains and thrift store finds. I’d love to see them.

Wednesday:)What’s Happenin’ In My Wacky World?

11 Aug

“Do anything, but let it produce joy.”

Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

(Words to live by, Walt. Thanks)

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I woke up early again today, deciding I was going to roll over, take the day off and not walk. My knee was acting up, I didn’t go to bed til after 1am, and I was tired. All good excuses, right?

I have this imaginary Angel/Devil on my shoulders argument thing going on in my head all the time. The Devil on my left shoulder says things like, “Don’t walk, stay in bed, or eat those brownies, or you don’t have to go to church today. 👿 Then, the Angel on my right shoulder says, “It’s a beautiful day, go enjoy the birds and get some exercise, drink more water, have a smoothie for breakfast, and I’ll see you at church on Sunday.” 😇

I’ll confess, the Angel doesn’t always win, especially the eating brownies part. But, she’s usually right, so I got up and went for a nice walk before it got too hot. I got in two miles. (Thank you Angel.)

Me and my shadow.

Today, I was really looking forward to our Words With Friends writing group over at The MillHouse at 1pm. Melissa Cantu is such a talented and inspirational facilitator/host. I am ever so grateful that she started this group.

Thank you, Melissa! 🤗
Our guest speaker today was Rachel Francis (second from left) who conducted a thought provoking poetry workshop. A beautiful group of talented ladies, all bringing their own unique and wonderful ideas and insights to each meeting.

I tend to bring the comic relief, with my weird sense of humor and outbursts of silliness. I read to them my Country Western Poem/Song that just needs a catchy tune and fabulous country singer to make it fly off the charts. It’s called, “I’ll Just Have Another Beer.” I’m thinkin’ Garth Brooks or Blake Shelton should sing it. It’s about this guy, and his girl left him and stole his truck and his dog. Typical country song, but funny. I read it with a thick southern twang. 🤦‍♀️

Now, saving the best for last. Remember how I’ve been praying and doing my best Navajo rain dances. Well, this afternoon, I heard big thunder booms. The sky got dark, but no rain. Friends were posting on Facebook that it was pouring rain by them, just a few miles away on the other side of town. But, no rain here. So, I went outside, lifted my hands to the sky and chanted my best rain chant. Finally, a nice little down pour. (You’re Welcome!)

It only lasted about 5 minutes, but I’ll take what I can get. (Maybe someone up there didn’t care for all my singing and dancing.) I should have stuck to show tunes like, “Singing in the Rain.”

Tuesday:) Toni’s Montage Monday Delayed Until Tuesday Because I Had More Exciting Things to Share Yesterday. 🤦‍♀️

9 Aug

“ Never put off until tomorrow what you should have done yesterday, or last week. Procrastination is not a designation, rather a resignation.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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It was a good week. It would be better if I got a little rain over my house. Some parts of North Texas and McKinney got some a few minutes ago. But NO! None for me. I’m still holding out and praying. I even did a rain dance outside, combining my Catholic prayers with my tiny bit of Navajo Indian bloodline dancing. 🤞🏼

A week in a peek…

Please rain already! 🤞🏼🙏🏼🤞🏼🙏🏼

Saturday:) Don’t Get Me Started! The Dust and Dirt Domino Effect

31 Jul

“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.”

Pablo Picasso

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Señor Picasso, I would much prefer to be doing art than dusting my daily life. But today, I was cleaning up the kitchen a little after my baking/cooking frenzied Friday. I figured I’d do some laundry, strip the bed and wash the bedding, and one thing just led to another.This is a long story, so grab a cup of coffee, or better yet, a glass of wine. I’ll join you. 🍷

While I was getting ready to put the nice clean sheets back on the bed, I noticed that the headboard, rails, and wooden crevices were very dusty. Why did I look? My motto has always been, “If you don’t look at the hole in your shoe, it won’t bother you .” My sister reminds me of my motto quite often. Bit, it’s true.

So, I bit the bullet and got a damp cloth and was wiping all the dusty woodwork. I couldn’t quite reach the tippy top of the headboard, so I gave it a swipe with the towel. Wouldn’t you know, the towel fell and wedged behind the headboard and I couldn’t reach it. Therefore, I went and got a broom to try and finagle it out. It dropped to the floor. Still couldn’t reach it. I swiped and yanked and tried to oooch it out. After many attempts, I slid it Up and out, along with a LOT of hairy dusty yuk.

I put in another load of laundry, and feeling quite inspired with the broom in hand, I swept the kitchen and bathroom floors.

I have a magic broom. It stands on its own merit. I just wish it would sweep on its own merit.
Oh no! When’s the last time I dusted the blinds? Like… never.

Let’s not forget the baseboards. Why do we need baseboards anyway? They should call then dustboards. Man, there is dust everywhere. my friend Brunhilda the broom got quite the workout today.

Seeing as I was on a roll, I took out My Sharona, my shark vacuum cleaner. Everyone is coming out to party today.
Then, my least favorite task in the entire world… the tedious tempestuous toilets. I hate cleaning toilets! 🤦‍♀️ I always save this task for last, so I can jump in the shower after I’m done.

A funny story about toilets. When my youngest son Matt was in about third grade, they had a writing assignment to say what was their mother and father’s favorite thing to do for fun. Matt wrote that his dad liked to play golf, and his mother loved to clean toilets. He was a smarty pants even back then.

Be careful when you start a little project. One thing leads to another. My tip for the day…DON’T LOOK AT THE DUST. IF YOU DON’T SEE IT, IT’S NOT THERE.