Tag Archives: humor

Sunday Sermon and Some Other Stuff

15 May


“Love each other dearly always. There is scarcely anything else in the world but that: to love one another.”
― Victor Hugo

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Wow! What a beautiful sunny Sunday. As I scurried out the door for Mass this morning, my little neighbor cat was sitting in the middle of my driveway and wouldn’t even budge an inch when I started to back up. I had to get out of my car and shoo him away. I think he was hoping I’d stop and scratch his belly and behind, as I usually do when I see him, but I wanted to get to church early. He eventually moved, but still sat at the end of my driveway as I carefully maneuvered around him. 🤦‍♀️

Miss Toni, don’t go! Meow, meow…

Today’s Gospel was the story of Jesus telling the disciples that He wouldn’t be around much longer, and was giving them one more commandment… “to love one another.”

Gospel

Jn 13:31-33a, 34-35

When Judas had left them, Jesus said,
“Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
If God is glorified in him,
God will also glorify him in himself,
and God will glorify him at once.
My children, I will be with you only a little while longer.
I give you a new commandment: love one another.
As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.
This is how all will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another.”

My take on it… I know Moses came down with that heavy tablet with the Ten Commandments inscribed in stone. Personally, I think an abridged version would have sufficed and been less heavy and fewer words. (If I had my way.) The Two Commandments: 1. Love God 2. Love one another. Number 2 would cover all those other 9 Commandments. If you loved one another you wouldn’t lie, cheat, steal, covet, kill and all that other bad stuff mentioned in 2-10. If you loved one another, that would be covered. Just my take on it. But, who am I to edit God’s tablet? 🤦‍♀️

After Mass, Helene and I went to McD for our ritual hot chocolate. The manager, Miss Kelsey, always greets us with a smile and says, “Two hot chocolates coming up.” She knows her regular customers and always takes time out to chat with us. Today, I was telling her that Helene and I were talking about how friendly and polite the entire staff is and that is only a result of a sweet manager. She was honored. I asked if we could take a photo together.

Miss Kelsey smiled and said, if we liked, we could call the number on our receipt and mention her store number to the customer service rep. I did that when I got home. The guy on the phone took my info and I said that Miss Kelsey and her staff go way out of their way to be friendly and that is the reason we stop in every Sunday. He said that it was great to hear and he’d make sure the info was passed on. I think that more people should report awesome service instead of only complaining about bad service. Fast food is a tough business.

It’s funny, sometimes when I’m leaving a restaurant, I’ll ask to speak to the manager, and the man comes out ready to get an earful of complaints. Then I say, “I just want to let you know that our server…(name) was just awesome, and I wanted to let you know.” I always get a relieved smile and a thank you.

As Jesus said, “Love one another.” Sounds like Wise advice.

Happy Sunday, my friends.

Thankful Thursday:) Special Friends

5 May

Friends are like the stars. They shine bright when you are near, but their brilliance glows just as much when you are far away.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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I’ll start off with my friend Helene. As I’be stated many times, my friend Helene had a “drug” problem. When I met her at church, she didn’t know anyone around McKinney. So, I drug her to Art Club. Then, I drug her to karaoke. Later, I drug her to Towne Creek where she is teaching, cooking and sharing her talents. I drug her to our single mingle group where she made so many more new friends. I drug her to Holy Family School where she generously donates snacks and drinks and goodies for the little ones. I could go on and on…

Yesterday, Miss Helene drug me over to Texas Roadhouse for dinner, where I was forced to consume massive quantities of their world famous onion blossom.

I haven’t had one of these in ages. My all time favorite belly bustin’ meal. When our server asked what I wanted to have, I told him the onion blossom. And, he assumed it was an appetizer. I said, “No, this is my meal and I’m going to eat The whole thing and I ain’t sharin’.” He laughed, I was serious.

OK, it looks like I ate it all, it I only ate 1/2 and brought the rest home. It was painful and marvelous, all rolled into one. Speaking of roll…. Helene had to roll me out of there.

Helene had the ribs. We had to take pictures to tease our friend Doug, who always takes pictures of his awesome dinners but NEVER invites us to come along. We’re going to flaunt this one.

I am also grateful for a nice long phone conversation with my dearest friend Lin Lin, back home. We did a lot of catching up and over an hour on the phone.

Let’s not forget another call from Debbie, in Chicago. Gosh, we’ve been friends from our teaching days around 1977? I really am blessed.

Tonight, I’m having dinner with Miss Kathy across the street. She always spoils me with a nice dinner as a thank you for keeping an eye on her cats when she’s out of town. I should thank her. The boys always hang out at my house making sure I don’t have any mice.

After dinner, I need to start working on baking MORE cupcakes for our annual picnic over by Miss Pat’s apartment. More cupcakes… more food… more awesome friends. More on that tomorrow.

Happy Thursday, my friends. I hope you have many many things to be thankful for too. ❤️

Wednesday:) What’s Cookin’ Miss Toni? May the 4th Be With You!

5 May

“When life gives you sour milk, make muffins, lots of muffins.”

“Today is May 4th. May the 4th Be with YOU! (And with your spirit.. a Catholic addition thing.)

*Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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A little Star Wars humor. 🤦‍♀️

So, I bought a gallon of milk a little while ago, because I was making massive quantities of lemon cupcakes. I never buy milk for myself, but I needed some for lemon pudding. The sell by date said May 6, so I thought it might still be good. I had transferred the few remaining cups into a couple of Mason jars. ( Not to be confused with a Mormon jar or a Knights of Columbus jar. The Masons are serious about their jars.🤦‍♀️)

I opened the lid to see if it still looked good, as I am going to make MORE lemon cupcakes tomorrow. The milk was all stuck to the sides and thick and gooey. Oh no! I’ll have to go to the store for more milk. Then, I remembered last time I had a lot of sour milk, I googled recipe ideas for sour milk. Voila, I made cheese. I have a bin fool of cheese in the fridge so I looked up more ideas. There are a lot, so NEVER through out sour milk.

I had more than 2 cups of sour milk so, of course, I doubled the recipe, and went from there. I’m not real precise following recipes. It only called for 4tsp of sugar, so I added an addition blop of brown sugar. Then, I diced up a couple of apples and a touch more oil. Then, it still looked too thin, so I poured in more sour milk, let’s finish off this milk. Now too thin. Throw in a little more flour now. 🤦‍♀️

I was going to add blueberries, but I had lots of apples and not so many blueberries, so they went back in the freezer for another day.

Just keep adding stuff.
Oh, last minute, I decided to add some brown sugar cereal crumble topping. As you can see, I made a lot of muffins. I gave most of them away. I did eat two. They were delicious warmed up with a swipe of butter. 🤦‍♀️

Now, more baking tomorrow for the Friday annual spring picnic at Miss Pat’s place. More lemon cupcakes. They seem to be a big hit. I bought more fresh milk. I hope I don’t have any left over that will get sour. 🤦‍♀️

Montage Monday:) A Week in a Peek

25 Apr

“I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”

Jerry Seinfeld

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Well, it was a busy week of not doing anything but keeping busy trying not to do something. I did join an IPC- International Procrastinators Club, But, we haven’t had our first meeting. We keep putting it off. Maybe next month. We haven’t decided yet. It’s only been a year. 🤦‍♀️

A week in a peek.

Another fabulous week .

Wednesday:)What’s Cookin’ Miss Toni~As Promised:) Triple Lemon Cupcake Recipe

14 Apr

“I love it when you discover a happy little accident when baking and cooking. Then you must share your amazing discovery with the world.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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Well, last week when I made my magic lemon cupcakes, I had several people beg me for the recipe. Miss Kathy, across the street, said they were so wonderful that she wanted the recipe, and she doesn’t even like to bake. I’m known more for my non-recipe concoctions, but this is close enough…

I guess they make lemon cake mixes, but they use artificial stuff, so I add lemon juice concentrate to the water portion of a yellow cake mix. And the secret accident part is the marshmallow.A few weeks ago, I made some cupcakes and added half a slice of a big marshmallow on top of a dollop of cake mix. Then, I put a spoonful of lemon pie filling and more mix on top, thinking the filling would keep the marshmallow down and anchored, then baked. When I was checking the oven, the marshmallows had all popped to the top. I tried tamping them back down with a spatula. They just stuck. Oh no! Not the plan.
Oh no! Now what? But, what I discovered is the marshmallows sort of melted away and made a hole in the cupcake when it was done baking. So now, I made this part of the plan. This time, I made the full size cupcakes, 1/3 batter , an entire marshmallow, then more batter on top. Bake. Perfect! Happy little accident.

Triple Luscious Lemon Cupcakes

Make 1 large box or two small boxes of lemon pudding. Follow directions and refrigerate at least a few hours before baking cupcakes.

1 box yellow cake mix. Follow directions except for water. 1/3 c lemon juice, 2/3 c water, 1/2 c oil, 3 eggs, mix with mixer.

Use paper cupcake liners and add about 1 large tablespoon of batter to each

Place one large marshmallow (not mini) in center, then another tablespoon of batter on top. It should look about 2/3 full.

Bake at 350° until silly marshmallows pop up, melt away, and cupcakes look done. 🤷‍♀️ I’m not sure how long. Don’t burn ‘em.

Allow to cool, then spoon in or pipe in lemon pudding into the lovely cavern that the marshmallow made upon its disappearance.

Pipe on top with lemon frosting. Store bought or homemade, whichever you like or easier for you. I like homemade.

HOMEMADE LEMON FROSTING

1 big package cream cheese softened

2 sticks of butter softened (use microwave defrost if needed. I do)

Mix in a big bowl, a little at a time, 2lbs powdered sugar. Yes, the big bag. You may not need it all. As it gets thicker, add a teaspoon of lemon juice, more sugar, more lemon juice, until it’s how you like it. Not too thick, but thin enough to use in piping bag or tube. I LOVE MY WILTON FROSTING TUBE.

Now! That’s a tasty luscious lemon cupcake.

It makes about two dozen, give or take. Make sure to take one dozen over to your local fire station. Then give ALL the rest away to family, friends and neighbors except for ONE that you keep for yourself. Don’t keep more than one because you will eat them all. Trust me. I know from experience. I only kept one.

Let me know if you try making them. If you’re not a baker, come on over.

Saturday:)So What Do You Do On A Spectacular Sunny Spring Saturday?

10 Apr

“Sunny Spring Saturdays are for picnics in the park, or poolside parties, or lying on the beach, or staining and varnishing the front door.” 🤦‍♀️

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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It was a gorgeous sunny Saturday. I can’t swim, so I didn’t go to the pool or the beach. I don’t have a pool, I don’t have a beach nearby and I’m terrified of water. I had no party invitations on my calendar. I already baked and cooked up a storm this week, so I decided to be productive.

So, I started a project. I gave my yucky peeling front door two coats of stain and two coats of varnish.
My neighbor across the street came over to help me, but all he did was sit behind the bushes and supervise. But, he does keep the mice away when he’s on patrol.
The door looks pretty good, and hopefully will be protected from the Texas Spring hail storms, summer heat and gusty winds, at least until next year. My neighbor Nextdoor, Miss Elke said I did a pretty good job. She had her door professionally stained and sealed last year for $500. Yikes! I spent about $20.
While I was at it, I gave my hand painted bench a couple coats of varnish. Yep! A pretty productive day.

Happy Saturday, my friends.

Wednesday:) What’s Cookin’, Miss Toni? (Everything-But-the-Kitchen-sink Cabbage Soup.

6 Apr

“You can never put too many vegetables in your homemade soup, but you do need a lot of friends to help you eat it all.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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Here’s how the story started. I had a whole cabbage in the fridge for over a week. It was on sale. What can I say?

I boiled the cabbage with a lot of water and some beef broth. The celery I had in the fridge was a combination fuzzy and slimy, so that went in the trash. I had one cooked potato, some carrots and onions and canned beans. Then, my new favoriteKroger diced tomatoes with jalapeños, for that little extra flavor. I even added a can of corn later. Why not. A little extra color. I let that simmer for a few hours. How many? I dunno!🤦‍♀️
It looks pretty, smells divine , and tastes delicious.
The secret finishing touch is a handful of crumbled Salas Verde tortilla chips, provided by my undercover source. Every time I check Walmart for them, they are all out. So, I have my good friend Helene always on the look out when she goes shopping. The first time she called me to say,”I found some! How many do you want?” I said, “Buy them ALL! But if there’s more than ten, you can save a few for the other customers. Oh, and get one for yourself!” Such a friend. 🤦‍♀️

If you want to try making this soup, remember the Salsa Verde tortilla chips, BUT… Do not, and I repeat, do not tell your friends about the chips. Once they find out, you’ll never find them on the shelf.

Oops! What am I telling you? Shhhhhhh!

Wednesday:) What’s Cookin’ Miss Toni?

24 Mar

“Happy Wednesday! Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”

William Shakespeare

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Well, old Willie Shakespeare had a good quote going on there. Wednesday is smack in the middle of the week and smack in your face, reminding you that the week is with half over or half started. You pick.

I made a very yummy breakfast today. I bought this yummy Asiago cheese bread that I sliced down the middle, toasted with jalapeño jack cheese. Then, I spread avocado all over and added sliced tomatoes. With a side of fruit, and some green tea, it looked like a fancy meal from a five star restaurant.

Sometimes you have to pamper yourself because YOU deserve the best.

Today, I spent most the day in lazy Wednesday mode. I had a nice Zoom meeting with my Charlatinto Spanish group in the afternoon. It was quite appropriate that it was Wednesday. I have a funny inside Columbian joke about Wednesday, but I’ll save that for another time. 🤦‍♀️

I was feeling kind of antsy by 6 pm and considered a walk, but I pulled something in my left leg earlier and it hurt a little to walk. The sun was out, but the howling wind and cooler temps were not welcoming. I put on my gym shoes anyway and walked over to put on my coat. Limp…limp. Well, that didn’t feel good. I said to myself, “Self… maybe you can just walk it off. You can do it!” I limped over to the door and slowly crossed the street. It took me a couple of blocks, walking through the park, and giving myself a pep talk. And you know what? Yep, you guessed it. The pain went away and the limp disappeared. The power of positive thinking.

I made quite a few loops around the pond, with the wind blasting me in the face, before I quit. I looked at my steps when I got home, and my phone said 4,602 steps. Oh no. I wanted to get at least 4K, but I was so close to 5K. Therefore, I walked around my kitchen, up and down the stairs, did some tidying up around different rooms until I made 5K. I always try and push myself a little further.
Give yourself a goal every day and you have something to strive for, something to be proud of.

Happy Wednesday… Miercoles.

Thankful Thursday:) Attitude of Gratitude

18 Mar

“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

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I have signed up for and listened to soooo many podcasts and webinars in the past two years that I’m pretty sure that I could start and star in my own do it yourself, self help, fix your brain and fix your life talk show. I just finished one on BrainHealth today. Very insightful. Maybe more on that another day.

But, what I’d like to share today is that THE NUMBER ONE KEY, THE NUMBER ONE WORD, that every theme has focused on is GRATITUDE. You can’t be happy with yourself, your life or anyone else if you are not grateful and thankful for who you are, what you have, and how you can share it with others.

I am so grateful and blessed with the most wonderful family and friends. I think this and feel this every day. I share it in my morning prayer when I wake and when I close my eyes at night. My constant prayer is “Thank you for Your blessings.”

Along with feeling blessed is try and be a blessing to others. I try and share. This week, I was able to doggie sit a few days for my old neighbor Mr. Mike. (well, he’s not old, but he has moved away.) Just a small favor for a friend that makes me feel good, and he appreciates my help. I also was kitty sitting a couple of weeks ago for Miss Kathy. I try to explain to them that I get such joy by helping them out. That’s what friends are for.

It’s also cool to show your appreciation for others. After Mr. Mike picked up Bella, I went to Kroger to get my prescription and do some grocery shopping. The assisted check out line with a real person was so long, so I went to self-check out. I don’t like it because A. I feel that it’s putting people out of work, and B. I can’t figure out how to weigh my own tomatoes and cabbage.🤦‍♀️

I got started and got stuck with weighing. A young employee came over to help me. I kept her there until she weighed four different items for me. When I was finished, I noticed that one of my items didn’t ring up with the digital coupon sale price. I called her back and she fixed it. I thanked her profusely and asked her name, as her tag was covered up. “Riley.”

Oh man! It was Riley. A couple of months ago, I was going to check out, and this young lady who was closing to go on her break or go home, waved me on and checked me out anyway. I remembered her because when we were done with my order, she gave me a hug. I had told the dozen or so people trying to get in line behind me that she was closing, Saving her from having to continue checking. She was just too nice to say no. So, when I was leaving, I went to customer service to tell them how amazing she was, and also sent a note to corporate. Today, I said, “Riley, you may not remember me, but a while back you were so sweet and asked me if you could give me a hug, and that just made my day.” Her smile widened and I gave her a hug this time and asked for a selfie. She felt appreciated and I felt thankful for her kindness. Win-win.

After I got home and put away my groceries, I only had about 30 minutes before my BrainHealth Webinar at 7. Another thing I’ve learned in my vast research is “Take care of yourself physically and emotionally.” I love my walks, so I threw on my gym shoes and scurried out the door for a short brisk walk. It was getting dark and cloudy, so I picked up the pace. As I walked, I saw a lady walking her dog. I’ve seen this lady almost every day for months, but I never stopped to ask her name. So today, I was feeling grateful for my walks, my neighborhood, and the people in my world, so I asked her name.

This is Kelly. Her dog Waffles is not shown, but he’s a cute big white dog. I repeated Kelly’s name a couple of times so I’d remember. (I saw a podcast on memory and remembering last week.🤦‍♀️) I also learned to associate names in order to remember. I said, “Nice to meet you Kelly, on this lovely St. Patrick’s Day.” She laughed, but I’ll associate Irish and Kelly and St. Patrick’s Day.

I am thankful for all the cool people in my life, all the knowledge I have gained, and all the things that make Miss Toni…. AMAZING!!!!

“Never stop learning, never stop laughing, and never stop loving.”-Me

Wednesday:) What’s Cookin’ Miss Toni?

10 Mar

“Life is short, so exercise, eat a good breakfast, meditate on the awesomeness of life, then eat cookies.”

~Toni Armenta Amdrukaitis

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This morning, I had a healthy breakfast of avocado toast, topped with spinach and tomatoes, and a side of fruit.
I put in over 7,000 steps on my walk today. I meditated in the morning, went to the grocery store, filled up my car with gas, 🤦‍♀️, and did some housework.
Life is short, so after All that exercise and a healthy breakfast, well, time to eat cookies. In an attempt to help use up stuff in my freezer, I took out a roll of my famous Better Than Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chip cookie dough from the freezer that I made a while back. Remember, I’m trying to free up freezer space.
I chopped up Hershey’s candy, and other left over Russel Stover candy that I never got around to eating. (Yes, candy sits around my house uneaten all the time. I sliced the cookie dough, piled up the chopped up candy, then topped with another slice of dough. I press the edges together and flatten them out a bit, then bake.
Oh my gosh! They are so delicious. The texture from using half oatmeal in the recipe makes them amazing.

The whole roll only made 8 cookies, but they’re BIG delicious cookies. I’m only allowing myself one a day. Well, maybe 2! 🤦‍♀️

If you are one of the few people in the world who hasn’t seen this recipe… here ya go.

BETTER THAN MRS. FIELDS’ CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES


2 c. butter

2 c. sugar

2 c. brown sugar

4 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

4 c. flour

5 c. oatmeal (grind 3 c. Leave 2)

1 tsp. salt

2 tsp. baking soda

2 tsp. baking powder

24 oz. chocolate chips

18 oz. chopped Snickers or Hershey or favorite candy. (Optional)

(Optional- chopped nuts)

Mix butter and sugars and eggs and vanilla in really big bowl. Blend in dry ingredients. Add chocolate chips and bake @ 350°. I like to use parchment paper so they don’t stick or burn. Then, eat, enjoy and share if you have any left.