Tag Archives: st. patrick’s day

Wednesday ☘️Irish Words of Wisdom and a Few Jokes

18 Mar

“May your day be touched by a bit of Irish luck, brightened by a song in your heart and warmed by the smiles of the people you love.”Irish Saying

☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, my friends. I’m feeling very blessed and very lucky. And… according to my Ancestry DNA, I do have some Irish Ancestry. A small percentage, but enough to help me to appreciate a little alcohol every now and then. SLÁINTE!

A few Irish blessings from irishpost.com

1. May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.

2. MAY THE LILT OF IRISH LAUGHTER LIGHTEN EVERY LOAD.

3. May the mist of Irish magic shorten every road and may your friends remember the favours you are owed.

4. LET YOUR HEART BE GLAD FOR THE HARVEST DONE AND MAY YOUR WINTER BE WARM THE WHOLE SEASON LONG.

5. May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says this drink’s on me.

6. MAY THE BLESSINGS OF EACH DAY BE THE BLESSINGS YOU NEED THE MOST.

7. May luck be your friend in whatever you do and may trouble be always a stranger to you.

8. MAY YOU HAVE WARM WORDS ON A COLD EVENING, A FULL MOON ON A DARK NIGHT, AND A SMOOTH ROAD ALL THE WAY TO YOUR DOOR.

9. May the rains sweep gently across your fields, may the sun warm the land, may every good seed you have planted bear fruit and may late summer find you standing in fields of plenty.

10. MAY PEACE AND PLENTY BE THE FIRST TO LIFT THE LATCH TO YOUR DOOR AND HAPPINESS BE YOUR GUEST TODAY AND EVERMORE.

11. May you live as long as you want but never want as long as you live.

May love and laughter light your days

12. MAY YOU ALWAYS FIND THREE WELCOMES IN LIFE, IN A GARDEN DURING SUMMER, AT A HEARTH DURING WINTER AND IN THE HEARTS OF FRIENDS THROUGHOUT ALL YOUR YEARS.

13. May the most you wish for be the least you get.

14. MAY LOVE AND LAUGHTER LIGHT YOUR DAYS AND WARM YOUR HEARTH AND HOME.

15. May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam.

16. MAY PEACE AND PLENTY BLESS YOUR WORLD WITH A JOY THAT LONG ENDURES AND MAY ALL LIFE’S PASSING SEASONS BRING THE BEST TO YOU AND YOURS.

☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️

Some Irish humor from methodshop.com

Whiskey

  • Q: Why did God invent whiskey?
  • A: To prevent the Irish from ruling the world!

In Memory Of My Motherland

  • Seamus was tending bar when a patron came in and ordered a beer and a shot. A little while later another came in and they struck up a conversation. “Let me buy you a drink in memory of my motherland, Ireland,” the first said. “Ireland?, I’m from Ireland too. I come from Dublin. Let’s drink to Dublin!” said the second. “Dublin? Why I grew up there. Went to St. Mary’s.” replied the first. “Me too,” said the second. “Seamus, another round!” ordered the first. And so it went. A short time later another patron came in and asked, “Hey Seamus, what’s going on in here today?” “Nothing much,” the barman replied, “The O’Reilly twins are drunk again.”

The Bus Driver On Saint Patrick’s Day

  • I went out drinking on St Patricks Day, so I took a bus home… That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before.

Why Wasn’t Jesus Born In Ireland?

  • Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?
  • He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Staggering Home

  • An Irishman named Mick O’Toole was staggering home with a pint of whiskey in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. “Please, God,” he implored, “let it be blood!”

Driving Home

  • An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. “So,” says the cop to the drunk driver, “where have ya been?” “Why I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk. “Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening”. “I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile. “Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?” “Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”

Irish Weddings And Irish Funerals

  • What’s the main difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
  • 1 less drunk at the party

Low IQs

  • What’s long and green and has a low I.Q.?
  • A St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Eat Your Vegetables

  • Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! It counts as a vegetable!

Married Life

  • Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife?
  • A. A bachelor.

God vs Bono From U2

  • What’s the difference between God and Bono?
  • God doesn’t wander around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.

The Bet

  • A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”
  • The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.
  • The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
  • The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”
  • The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.

Origins of The Irish Jig

  • Q. How did the Irish Jig get started?
  • A. Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!

Weapon Of Choice

  • Into the local pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp. “What happened to you?” asks, the bartender. “Jamie O’Conner and I had a fight,” says Paddy. “That little shit, O’Conner,” says the bartender, “He couldn’t do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.” “That he did,” says Paddy, “a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin’ he gave me with it.” “Well,” says the bartender, “you should have defended yourself, didn’t you have something in your hand?” “That I did,” said Paddy. “Mrs. O’Conner’s breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.”

An Irishman’s Dying Wish

  • Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy, and Shawn O’Brien grew up together and were best friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, “O’Brien, come ‘ere.  I ‘ave a request for ye.” Shawn walked to his friend’s bedside and kneels.
  • “Shawny ole boy, we’ve been friends all our lives, and now I’m leaving ‘ere. I ‘ave one last request for ye to do.” O’Brien burst into tears, “Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It’s done.”
  • “Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into my bones and I’ll be able to enjoy it for all eternity.” O’Brien was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend’s request, he asked, “Aye, ’tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?”

Drowning In A Vat Of Beer

  • Sean O’Grady came to tell Mrs. O’Flaherty about her husband’s untimely drowning in a vat of beer at the brewery.
  • “Oh, the poor man” she sobbed, “Please, tell me, did he suffer much?”
  • “I don’t think so mum; he came out three times to pee!”

Barmaid

  • Q: Why did the barmaid champagne?
  • A: Because of the stout porter bitter.

My Obituary

  • Seamus opens the newspaper and is shocked to see his OWN obituary.
  • In a panic, he phones his friend Pat and asks: “Did you see the paper?! Terrible news. They say I died!”
  • His friend Pat replies: “Yes, I saw it! So, where ya calling from?”

Tea Bags

  • Q: What’s the difference between Ireland and a teabag?
  • A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Drunk Priest

  • An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a policeman pulls him over. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.
  • He says: “Have you been drinking?”
  • “Just water,” says the priest.
  • The cop replies: “Then why do I smell wine?”
  • The priest looks at the bottle and says: “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

Jesus In Ireland

  • Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?
  • A: He couldn’t find 3 wise men… or a virgin.

The Way To Cork

  • Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
  • Paddy says: “Are you on foot or in the car?”
  • Billy replies: “In the car.”
  • “Well that’s the quickest way,” says Paddy.
  • If you thought Valentine’s Day was the only holiday with kissing, then you haven’t met an Irish Woman yet!

Good Night

  • The bartender at closing time: “Ladies and gents, have you no homes to go to?”

Boiled Cabbage

  • You know you overdid it on St. Patrick’s Day when boiled cabbage smells better than you.

The Grass Tickles

  • Why do Leprechauns giggle when they play football (soccer)?
  • Cause the grass tickles their balls

Parkinsons Or Alzheimers

  • Two old men were contemplating life when one man asked the other, “If you had to get one or the other would you rather get Parkinsons or Alzheimers?”
  • “Sure, I rather have Parkinson’s”, replied the man. “It’s better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson Irish Whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!”

It’s Been Awhile Since My Last Confession

  • An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from Church.
  • He pulls aside the curtain, walks inside and sits down.
  • He’s surprised to find a fully equipped bar, Guinness on tap, and a box of fine cigars. And on the wall, there are several photos of women who have misplaced their garments.
  • He hears a priest come in. “Father, forgive me. It’s been a while since I’ve been to confession. But I must say, the confessional box is much better than it used to be.
  • The priest replies, “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side!”

What Percent Irish Are You?

  • I might only be _____% Irish. But on St Patrick’s Day, I will be 100% drunk.

The Parking Prayer

  • An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space.
  • He starts to pray, “Lord, I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday.”
  • Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: “Never mind, I found one!”

Friday:)  A Few Irish Blessings

18 Mar

Irish prayer
“May God give you…

For every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,

A faithful friend to share,

For every sigh, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.”

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day y’all.



I’m not Irish, so no green beer for me. But, it’s Friday, and I can drink like an Irishman. Thank goodness I can have my Black Russian. Oh, drat! I gave up ice cream for Lent. BUT,  I made giant chocolate almond milk ice cubes. I’ll have to make due for a few more weeks,


I did use a green ice cube tray in honor of the occasion.

Cheers!!!

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Q:Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

A: Because real rocks are too heavy!

 

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Irish.

(Irish who?)

Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day.

Saturday on the Square and St. Patrick’s Day Celebration

15 Mar

May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.

~ Old IRISH Saying

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I had a lovely morning with Mandy and Julia at our writing group. We spent most of the time chatting, sharing stories, and laughing. I think that’s the best atmosphere for creativity. Afterwards, Mandy and I zipped down to the Square for a leisurely lunch at SNUG. It was pretty crowded. I totally forgot the St. Patrick’s Day celebration. Everyone was dressed in green, with green hats, shamrocks, and painted faces. 

I had the pleasure of running into my dear friends Sherri and Michael MURPHY. Gee, I wonder why they would be celebrating? Here’s Michael Murphy taking a picture of me while I’m taking a picture of him. We do this all the time.



Mr. Murphy took my picture like this. It’s a little inside joke with me and Sherri.



Open arms, always welcoming! These two are the best! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iwyRRQO8nc

It was a bit chilly, cloudy, with an occasional mist in the air, but it didn’t dampen the spirits of the festivities. Everyone was happy and everyone was Irish.





I stopped by the Visitors Center to visit with my friend Beth Shumate. What a sweet gal! 



Even Big Foot got I to the spirit.



This little red head was happy as a lark, enjoying the day.



Montage Monday: happy St. Patrick’s Day Y’all!

18 Mar

A WISH FOR A FRIEND

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!
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Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Y’all. (Combination Irish/Texas expression.) here’s another week in a peek. I already have a host of friends that never ends…so wishing the same for you!

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