Tag Archives: words of wisdom

Wednesday:) Wellness, Words of Wisdom and Be Wary of the Narcissist

22 Oct

“Narcissists have poor self-esteem, but they are typically very successful. They feel entitled; they’re self-important; they crave admiration and lack empathy. They are also exploitative and envious. The malignant types never forget a slight. They may kill you ten years later for cutting them off in traffic. But they act perfectly normal while plotting their revenge.”

— Janet M. Tavakoli

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I’ve done a lot of reading and research on NARCISSISM these past few years, for obvious reasons. Today, this story was in my inbox from a site I follow at healthyresearch.com. It confirmed a lot of information that I already knew and have already lived. But, I didn’t realize that they suggest that narcissists cannot learn from their mistakes. Basically saying, they will rarely, if ever, change their ways. It does make sense now because they don’t feel they make mistakes. Everyone else makes the mistakes. Duh!

I’m sure everyone has come across, has lived with, or has dealt with one or more narcissists in their lifetime. (Don’t even get me started on politicians.) I read the entire article and the best advice came at the very end…

“You cannot expect narcissists to learn from or admit to their mistakes. Ultimately, you may benefit most by caring for yourself as you interact with the narcissists in your life. For additional guidance, talk with a mental health specialist.”

In other words…”Run, Forrest, Run!”

Wellness Pursuits

Read Wellness Pursuits to live life to the fullest.

Why Narcissists Cannot Learn From Their Mistakes

(WellnessPursuits.com) – Most of us learn when we’re kids about the importance of admitting our mistakes. As we grow, we also acquire the ability to look back on and learn from those errors.

However, a new study has shown that narcissists feel so superior to other people that they do not own up to their mistakes. Moreover, the researchers discovered why narcissists cannot learn from their errors.

Why Narcissists Never Learn

When we make mistakes, most of us reflect on what we did wrong so we can avoid similar errors in the future. But researchers found that narcissists don’t believe they made mistakes. Rather than look back at the past in order to recognize what they could have done differently, narcissists blame others.

The act of reflecting on previous actions to analyze what we could have done differently is known as “counterfactual thinking.” When we engage in counterfactual thinking, we mentally envision a different scenario to learn from past mistakes.

Narcissists, however, put the blame for any errors on external forces, according to the study’s researchers. They protect their own egos because they truly believe they are superior to other people. As a result, narcissists are unable to learn from their mistakes.

The researchers noted that we all occasionally protect our egos by taking credit for success while putting the blame on others for failures. But few of us consistently protect self-esteem in the way that narcissists do.

Inside the Narcissist Study: ‘I Think I Am A Special Person’

Researchers at Oregon State University – Cascades formed four groups of participants. To rank the participants’ narcissism, they had them choose between two statements:

• “I think I am a special person” versus

• “I am no better or worse than most people”

Participants were then asked which hypothetical job candidate to hire. After reading how the employee performed, they had to answer questions about whether they made the right hiring decision.

The researchers used their responses to determine if the participants used counterfactual thinking and if hindsight bias affected their counterfactual thinking.

Hindsight bias is when we falsely believe we know the outcome of something before it happened. Someone experiencing hindsight bias will say, “I knew it all along” — even though they didn’t actually know. For example, if you were to make a bet with a friend and they lose, they might try to convince you they knew all along that they were going to lose.

The study’s researchers found that narcissists:

• Were more likely to exhibit the “I knew it all along” mindset when their predictions were inaccurate, a tactic they use to protect their egos.

• Do not believe they need to change.

• Do not take part in self-criticism.

All of these characteristics explain why narcissists are unable to learn from their mistakes and make better choices in the future the way the rest of us are.

How Can We Deal With Narcissists In Our Lives?

Does that research study remind you of any acquaintances in your own life? Those of us who know people with narcissistic tendencies may face challenges in maintaining relationships with them.

It’s helpful to understand that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is considered a mental health condition. However, experts say that some individuals may have narcissistic qualities without NPD.

For example, we may know people who seem to require constant admiration. Other individuals with narcissistic tendencies may appear extremely egotistical, or seem to lack the ability to respect others as equals.

Experts say that we can deal with individuals with NPD or narcissistic characteristics by following these precautions:

• Observation: Individuals with narcissistic tendencies may concoct grandiose promises and concepts. By observing these types of people when they are not performing in front of others, we can be watchful of toxic behavior, such as disrespect or manipulation, and know to keep our distance.

• Self-Care: Narcissists don’t just seek the spotlight. They feel they deserve it. Take care of yourself by recognizing your own needs and strengths. Make time for yourself.

• Support: If you are working with or for a colleague with narcissistic tendencies, focus on building healthy relationships and a support system outside of work. If this individual is a family member or friend, consider expanding your support system through activities such as volunteer work or a class.

If you have a colleague with narcissistic tendencies or a loved one diagnosed with NPD, you may wonder how you can help that person. However, as essayist Mason Cooley cautioned, “Withhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference.”

Before you try to change a narcissist, remember the NPD study results: You cannot expect narcissists to learn from or admit to their mistakes. Ultimately, you may benefit most by caring for yourself as you interact with the narcissists in your life. For additional guidance, talk with a mental health specialist.

~Here’s to Your Healthy Pursuits!

Copyright 2020, WellnessPursuits.com

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Wednesday:) Words of Wisdom From My Facebook Friends…

1 Oct

” We find sources for inspiration and exasperation in so many places. My source choice is my Facebook page. Where else can you be inspired and agitated a hundred times a day, all in the same place?”

~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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Here are a few words of wisdom from my Facebook friends. I only chose the inspirational quotes, not the other nonsense that I just scroll past real fast while shaking my head….

Last but not least… a non political post.

Wednesday:) Words of Wisdom About Housework.

9 Jul

“Rule number 1- Never remove and empty the vacuum cleaner canister unless you know how to put it back. (Ask me how I know!)”

~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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Phyllis Diller

Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?

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Well, you may remember my old friend Henrietta Hoover, my trusty vacuum cleaner. Yes, she sat patiently in the middle of the hallway for several days before I decided it was time to vacuum instead of tripping over her every day. That is my cleaning strategy. Annoyance.

Henrietta got a new belt and a good cleaning last month, so she was humming like new and picking up all kinds of hidden treasures, dust bunnies, and a lot long brown hair. (Where did that come from?) Unfortunately, she did such a good job that the dirt canister was just about full. Seeing as Wednesday was garbage day, I thought it was a good idea to empty it and take it out to the trash.

Well, I just pushed in that little grey nubby thing, turned the plastic thing-a-ma-jig, and emptied that sucker out in two minutes flat, and off to the trash I went.

Now, it was time to put the canister back together and back into Henrietta’s waiting tummy. But NOOOOO! As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get the twisty thing to turn into the right plastic slotty grovey spot. (You notice all these technical vacuum part names, right?)

Seriously, after about half an hour of twisting, turning, and cussing in two different languages, I was about to give up. Instead, I raised my right hand into the air with a fist and said, “As God is my witness, I will fix Henrietta before this day is over.”

I guess that did the trick. Maybe God didn’t like all that cussing, so He waited until I calmed down and asked for His help. And yes, we Catholics have a Patron Saint for every occasion.

St. Zita is the Patron Saint of housekeepers, maids and servants, and was well known for her patience, hard work, and spending her life attending to the poor and those imprisoned.

Next time, I’ll start out with a prayer instead of cussin’.

Friday:) From the Mouths of Youth

20 Jun

“Wisdom oft comes from the mouth of babes.”

~ George R.R. Martin

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I went to the grocery store today to pick up a few things. Putting on my mask and getting my phone ready with the weekly coupons for Tom Thumb, I strolled over to the entrance to get my shopping cart. Two young men were taking a break, but still sanitizing the outgoing carts.

Walking towards them with a smile, that of course they couldn’t see beneath my mask, I greeted them with a warm,”Hello gentlemen.” Spritz, spritz, and I was handed a card. One young man said, “Can I ask you a question?” I said, “Sure.” He asked, “If you could describe your life in just one word, what would you say?” Without skipping a beat, I responded, “Amazing!”

Allen had the biggest smile, and he said,”Wow! That is so cool! How did you think of that so fast?” I told him, “That’s because my life IS amazing, and my perception is my reality.” Another “Wow!” Slipped out.

I asked Allen what his word was. He said, “I really don’t have a word. I have a sentence.” I don’t remember all the details, it it was something like, “My world is all about doing my best, my goals and my art.” I smiled and asked if he was an artist, and he proudly said,”Yes!” I told him that I was too. He seemed pleased.

The other young man, Chase, just stood and listened. I said, “Chase, what is your word?” He said that he didn’t have a word, so I said, “OK, think of a word real quick. He thought for only a second and replied, “Satisfied.” Cool! I thought that was pretty cool and true because he responded so quickly.

These two young men, obviously friends, one Hispanic, the other African-American, gave me a smile and a little hope for our future during these trying times. Both with goals and dreams. Hopefully their perception will become their reality.

“Wisdom oft comes from the mouth of babes.”

~ George R.R. Martin

Happy AMAZING Friday, my friends. Cheers!

Wednesday:) Words of Wisdom and a Walk

11 Jun

“Take care of your words and the words will take care of you.”

― Amit Ray

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Seeing as I spend the majority of my waking hours looking at Facebook, checking emails, and endless hours of surfing the web, it’s obvious that most of my information comes from these avenues. I very rarely turn on the TV, and I NEVER watch the news. Maybe that’s why I’m usually in a fairly good mood. This is not all bad. Well, it ain’t all good either, but it is what it is.

But, this morning, when I asked my Google companion, “OK Google, what’s the temperature?” She replied, “The current temperature in McKinney is 68 degrees.” Well, I replied, “I love you Google.” She didn’t answer, as it wasn’t in the proper questioning format.

OK, this is crazy. I just this moment said, “OK Google, I love you.” She just replied, “Really! It feels good to be loved.” I have way too much times on my hands and spend too much time with my devices.

So, anyway, I went for a wonderful walk this morning. I even needed a light jacket. After several days in the 90’s, it felt divine.

Later on, I sat with my iPad, checking Facebook and found some interesting words of wisdom that friends, family, and others had shared.

And after a beautiful morning and afternoon, another FaceTime with my adorable granddaughter, I went out for an evening walk. Two walks in one day. Great! When I checked my step counter app on my phone, I was at 5.8 miles. Hmmm? Being an over achiever, I decided to March around the kitchen and family room until I got up to 6 miles even. Weird! I know! That’s me.

I hope you had a wonderful Wednesday, too. 🤗

Wednesday:) Words of Wisdom

5 Mar

” I don’t watch much television or read the newspaper, so I get all the news, political advice, and words of wisdom I need from my Facebook page. Sad, isn’t it?”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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It’s true. I don’t watch much tv anymore, and the news is just depressing these days. I do love Facebook though. There’s a lot of nonsense and stupid stuff on there too, but I just scroll past it. I enjoy seeing my friend’s artwork, or seeing new baby pictures of family and friends or beautiful photos of sunsets and road trips that people go on. I want to see and learn beautiful things, NOT sad and disgusting things.

” Surround yourself with beautiful people and beautiful things because life is beautiful and you are beautiful, too. ~ Me

Words of wisdom from my Facebook friends…

Wednesday Words of Wisdom~ Sharing is Caring

30 Jan

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”

― Mother Theresa

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One of my greatest joys in life is making someone smile, and knowing that maybe, a little something I did put that smile on their face. It doesn’t matter if it’s my friends or family, or the janitor or the hardworking clerk at the Dollar Tree. Just a simple smile or personal greeting could make someone’s day. You never know.

My talents are a gift from God, and my time and efforts are gifts from me to share with others. Sunday, when I took some brownies over to Fire Station 9, I asked them when Captain Desiree would be back, as she was out a few weeks on a medical leave. They said she would be back Monday, so, I got up early Monday and made a huge container of penne pasta with meat sauce to take over for their lunch or dinner. I do love to cook. Just a kinda welcome back for the captain and crew. See those smiles.

Yesterday, I offered to take Bella to the Vet for Mr. Mike. He’s always busy and traveling, on a plane or on the phone. She was overdue for some shots, etc. Plus, he’s always helping me by fixing things, technology questions, unjamming my garage door, replacing my doorbell, coming over when my car is dead, changing smoke alarm batteries, etc. Bella is very comfortable and feels safe with me, so when we spent over two hours at the Vet, it was a nice way to help out.

This afternoon, I met with my friend Rick, a very talented local photographer. He and Isabelle go to St. Gabriel too, and until now, we have been mostly Facebook friends. Rick offered to give me some ideas about putting together a photo book of my artwork and poetry. He had admired one of my watercolors of the historic prison building on the square, so I offered to give him a print of the original when we met. He insisted on paying me, but I insisted that if I took his money, then it wasn’t a gift. Sharing is caring.

There are so many little things we can do every day to share a smile with the world. It just takes a little thought and a little time.

Ok, I thought this one was funny! 🤦‍♀️

Wednesday Words of Wisdom from Facebook

23 Jan

“The majority of my information, news and words of wisdom, I’ve learned from Facebook.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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I don’t watch television much anymore, and I avoid the news like the plague lately. But, I do spend way too much time on Facebook. I love keeping up with old friends, family, and making new friends. I’ve learned a lot, and I like reading words of wisdom that people share to inspire the rest of us. Here’s a few things I’ve read just today.

Wednesday:) Words of Wisdom on Facebook

14 Nov

“Inspiration can be found pretty much anywhere, even on Facebook.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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I have a lot of friends who are prolific readers. I admire them, but for some reason, I can’t hold still long enough to read anything longer than the Wednesday grocery sale ads that come in the mail. Novels are too long and put me to sleep, then because I’m old, I’ll forget where I left off and have to start from the beginning. Therefore, most of my reading and information and news is gleaned from my Facebook page.

It’s always fun to keep up with family and friends through photos, jokes, and messages. But, I also find a lot of inspirational quotes posted by many of my friends. So, I decided to pick out and share just a dozen “Words of Wisdom” that I found on my Facebook page today.

Words of Wisdom….

Friday:) From Here to There

2 Nov

“Your whole world can change in an instant. Savor every moment.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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When everything was covered in a blanket of snow for Halloween yesterday, I thought how much the weather changed in just a matter of a couple of days. One day, I was playing outside with my granddaughter, splashing in the puddles and tossing the bright red fall leaves up in the air. Then, suddenly, she’s bundled up in snow pants, boots and mittens, making a snowman. It’s all fun and games when you’re 2 1/2. I’m getting too old for that nonsense.

Here’s that beautiful tree that was bursting with red-orange leaves just a couple of days ago. Look how sad it is now.

I’m glad that I can celebrate all the changes in life that come my way. All that matters is that I have the greatest family and friends to celebrate with.

Happy Friday, my friends.